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A regular on the WeAreSC.com football board posted a gem in the form of the Texas Longhorn History. Funny read, check it out:
A History of the Achievements of Texas Longhorn Football:
1894: Texas begins playing football, beats the Austin YMCA, 6 - 0.
1903. Texas begins its tradition of being scum by scheduling and then
beating the School for the Deaf, 17 - 0.
1904. Texas loses to Chicago, 68 - 0.
1906. Texas loses to Vanderbilt, 45 - 0.
1913. Past is prologue. Texas loses to Notre Dame, 30 - 7
1937 - 38. Texas loses ten straight games.
1941. In the Baylor game star end Noble Doss drops an easy pass. It
costs Texas the conference title and a trip to the Cotton Bowl. Doss
begins the Texas tradition of CHOKING.
1951 - 57. Texas loses seven straight years to rival Oklahoma.
1964. Rival Arkansas wins the National Championship.
1969. President Richard M. Nixon visits the Texas locker-room at
half-time of the Arkansas game and declares the Longhorns to be
national champions. Nixon later pleads, "I'm not a crook." and then
resigns the Presidency in disgrace.
1970. Undefeated Texas wins the Southwest Conference Title and
finishes the regular season ranked #1. The Longhorns and star running
back Woo Woo Worster then CHOKE in the Cotton Bowl and get
beat by Notre Dame, 24 - 11.
As a point of history, this Texas team was all-white. Texas was among
the last NCAA football teams to integrate.
1971. Texas loses to Arkansas 31 - 7, to Oklahoma 48 - 27, and then
to Penn State 30 - 6 in the Cotton Bowl.
1973. Texas gets hammered by rival Oklahoma, 52 - 13.
1974. Rival Oklahoma wins the national championship.
1975. Rival Oklahoma wins another national championship.
1977. Undefeated Texas wins the Southwest Conference Title and
finishes the regular season ranked #1. The Longhorns and star running
back Earl Campbell then CHOKE in the Cotton Bowl and get beat by
Notre Dame, 38 - 10. Notre Dame benches its starters for most of the
second half.
1981. Texas "donates" a pair of cowboy boots to blue-chip recruit
Marcus Dupree. Dupree then signs a letter of intent to play at
Oklahoma.
1982. Texas CHOKES and loses to North Carolina 26 - 10 in the
Sun Bowl after going into the fourth quarter leading 10 - 3.
1983. Undefeated Texas wins the Southwest Conference Title and
finishes the regular season ranked #1. The Longhorns then CHOKE
in the Cotton Bowl, losing to Georgia 10 - 9.
1985. Rival Oklahoma wins another national championship.
1986. Former Longhorn players allege the coaching staff encouraged
them to scalp tickets. Head coach Fred Akers is fired.
1987. Texas running back Edwin Simmons is arrested by Austin police.
Simmons was found wandering around the campus area stoned on
marijuana and completely naked.
1988. Texas loses to Houston 66 - 15.
1991. Texas loses to Miami in the Cotton Bowl 46 -13.
1997. Texas loses to UCLA 66 - 3.
1998. Head coach John Mackovic is fired.
1999. Texas plays Arkansas in the Cotton Bowl after a long hiatus in
their rivalry. The heavily favored Longhorns CHOKE
and lose 27 - 6.
2000. Texas loses to rival Oklahoma 63 - 14.
2003. Mack Brown brings Texas high school prep star RB Adrian
Peterson to the Oklahoma game, then loses to the Sooners, 65 - 13.
Peterson signs a letter of intent to play at OU.
2004. Mack Brown receives a ten year contract extension after begging
and crying his way into the Rose Bowl, pushing aside the Cal Bears by
rigging the Coaches Poll. All of California learns to hate the Texas
Longhorns
The NCAA reports the Texas football graduation rate is 27%
13 comments:
The last entry jan 4, 2006:
Texas defeats USC and wins the National Cahmpionship - HooK'Em!!!
you forgot the part where Cal got pasted by Tech
June, 1994.. former USC running back OJ Simpson brutally murders 2 people.
After too much use, all trojans will break. That's probably how you were conceived as well.
Just get ready for January 4th, USC. Everything changes that day.
USC has Nuch on retainer, ready to bail out your criminals, err 'student-athletes'.
Newsflash......
1998
Trojans finish with 5 losses including being embarrarssed by TCU.
1999
Trojans finish 6-6.
2000
Trojans finish 5-7.
2001
Trojans finish 6-6.
All-time however USC leads in mass murdering Heisman winners 1-0.
OU didn't beat UT in 1951 and UT has longer winning streaks against OU than OU has against UT.
blllllllllaaaaaaaahahahaha. Longhorns will get spanked on Jan 4th.
2004: Playboy names The University of Texas # 1 as the college with the best-looking girls. USC is not on the Top 10 list.
Google "playboy top 10 colleges Mecey"
Hook' em! Its Texas from here on.....
Texas Longhorns over SC Prophylactics, 41-38.
How about this one:
2006 USC message board mods summarily delete all posts by Longhorns in which Horns predicted how VY would carve up the USC D in the 4th Q, including my own 19 predictions -- almost all of which came true or basically true.
As for USC, how about 2005 Matt Leinart commits multiple violations, but doesn't get penalized. Or how about Pete Carroll runs up the score on helpless teams in the 4th Q, so that Reggie Bush can get the Heisman? Or how about Greek restauranteer is told he cannot violate NCAA regulations by participating in recruiting? Or how about Pete Carroll decides that Reggie Bush should be on the sideline, during a crucial 4th down try? Or how about Drew Kelson, who didn't even start for Texas at LB until recently, and is far from our fastest player, plays inside Reggie Bush's jersey, covering him stride for stride? Or how about USC loses bowl game only 14.5 miles (as the car drives) from their practice field?
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